(Source: fucknobrandonclemens)

3 months ago
GPOY. All week long.

GPOY. All week long.

(Source: thechocolatebrigade, via killerkmiller)

3 months ago
”

You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.

Maya Angelou (via thecolorofbrown)

(Source: thedailylove.com, via fuckyeahfamousblackgirls)

3 months ago

(Headsup, this is NSFW!) Here’s my last set at Legion in Brooklyn….this is missing a line or three but this is some of the new stuff I’ve been working on.

(In the early part of the day I was dressed all nice, and it was funny to me to get schlubby to go out at night…but this set doesn’t work as well if I get fancied up.)

(Source: katburdick.com)

3 months ago

howwonderfullynot asked: who would win in all out brawl, spock or Harry potter?

The truth is those characters would never ever ever fight. One of them would HAVE to have turned evil.

But still, just in theory……

I’ll have to say Harry Potter if it’s a ground fight including wands/phasers, since magic gives a serious distance advantage (disarming spells, plus flight). But maybe Spock if he’s got the Enterprise at his disposal….assuming this is a “To the Death” sort of affair. If it’s hand to hand combat without weapons or wands (which “brawl” suggests) then definitely Spock. Vulcans have superhuman strength….plus the Vulcan nerve pinch. Harry’s going DOWN.

Besides, you know Snape could have killed Harry like a ZILLION times, right? Harry’s not very powerful. LOVE was powerful, the Elder wand was powerful…that and the combined power of teamwork and friendship (read = huge buttload of talented friends and vigilant courageous adult protectors).

I love Harry, but his biggest strength was always that he never believed the hype. He knew he was just…..Harry. Just Harry.

In related thinking….I wonder if a Vulcan could get bitten by werewolf and turn. Would they respond to multiple moons?

3 months ago
sttngfashion: Thank you, @jnd3001. You are right about Deanna in this episode. She was super-high to let that rando dude keep wearing that all-green ensemble. Although this made me chuckle, and Deanna was pretty spacey, if anyone was smoking reefer on the Enterprise…my money would be on Guinan. Something’s got to explain those hats. There’s a whole apparatus in there I bet.



sttngfashion:

Thank you, @jnd3001. You are right about Deanna in this episode. She was super-high to let that rando dude keep wearing that all-green ensemble.

Although this made me chuckle, and Deanna was pretty spacey, if anyone was smoking reefer on the Enterprise…my money would be on Guinan. Something’s got to explain those hats. There’s a whole apparatus in there I bet.

4 months ago
I’m on! This fantastic lineup’s tonight at the ‘We Are Not Hipsters’ Show at Legion Bar’s Secret Theatre hidden at 790 Metropolitan, Brooklyn, next to the Lorimer stop of the L. The show’s an early one, at 6:30pm until 8:30. This show is ALWAYS a blast and it’s usually packed so get there early to snag the best seats! They’ve got $3 beers and Laphroig! There’s a band afterwards. GET IN ON IT BROOKLYN WHILE NOT MANY KNOW ABOUT THE LEVEL OF LIQUID AWESOME CONTAINED WITHIN. We’re not hipsters, but we don’t give a fuck if YOU are hipsters. Go nuts. Bring your tiny pants and your cigarettes here! We’ll momentarily pause your ennui!( Oh, and John Mulaney’s special airs tonight on Comedy Central! I want to pet his hair. You should DVR that and worship as needed.)

I’m on! This fantastic lineup’s tonight at the ‘We Are Not Hipsters’ Show at Legion Bar’s Secret Theatre hidden at 790 Metropolitan, Brooklyn, next to the Lorimer stop of the L. The show’s an early one, at 6:30pm until 8:30. This show is ALWAYS a blast and it’s usually packed so get there early to snag the best seats! They’ve got $3 beers and Laphroig! There’s a band afterwards. GET IN ON IT BROOKLYN WHILE NOT MANY KNOW ABOUT THE LEVEL OF LIQUID AWESOME CONTAINED WITHIN. We’re not hipsters, but we don’t give a fuck if YOU are hipsters. Go nuts. Bring your tiny pants and your cigarettes here! We’ll momentarily pause your ennui!

( Oh, and John Mulaney’s special airs tonight on Comedy Central! I want to pet his hair. You should DVR that and worship as needed.)

4 months ago

"He says he’s been seeing her in his dreams, which prompts the obvious question: are all of his dreams Van Halen videos?"

The link above is to one of the funniest things I’ve ever read, ever, in the world. All you need to unlock the humour is an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Trek; The Next Generation. If you don’t have that already, get it. It’d be worth it just for this, even if you didn’t get to listen to Patrick Stewart say stuff all the time. That dude is hella British and he’s got the best skull shape in the history of humanity.

If you’re not a nerd, move on to another post. These are not the references you’re looking for.

4 months ago

Regarding Eddie Brill and the 1:22

Yesterday I saw a note on Elayne Boosler’s comedy page about Eddie Brill, a comic and a booker on Letterman, and this profile of him in the NYTimes. I know him mostly as one of the guys in the poker scene in one of the first episodes of Louie, the guy whose mom is hypothetically creating a dick diamond. (“Oh right, THAT guy.”) The article focused a lot on the number of comics without wangs (aka women) who performed on Letterman last year….only 1 out of 22 pairs of (worldwide) pants were not packing heat. The article quoted him as saying;


 “There are a lot less female comics who are authentic,” Mr. Brill said. “I see a lot of female comics who to please an audience will act like men.” http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/12/arts/television/eddie-brill-and-the-comics-on-david-lettermans-show.html

Now, I’m a lady, so that plus being a comedian means I’m a female comic, so this made me do that thing where you tilt your head and squish your eyebrows like a dog asking for walkies.

Read More

4 months ago

This is me at The Moth, before I took my married name for comedy purposes. Why? My husband’s last name has a free dick joke permanently embedded in it.

5 months ago
Some people say stand-up comedy is just peeling the onion of an idea, but I feel more like it’s a fractal…constantly spinning off into observations, what-ifs, tags, one word pushes towards another wave of laughter…a little paisley trip of surprises as someone reveals yourself to you while revealing themselves. This isn’t a fractal, it’s a painting of a sliced geode, but it’s still gorgeous and looks like it belongs in poster form on a hippie’s wall.

Some people say stand-up comedy is just peeling the onion of an idea, but I feel more like it’s a fractal…constantly spinning off into observations, what-ifs, tags, one word pushes towards another wave of laughter…a little paisley trip of surprises as someone reveals yourself to you while revealing themselves.

This isn’t a fractal, it’s a painting of a sliced geode, but it’s still gorgeous and looks like it belongs in poster form on a hippie’s wall.

5 months ago

Yeah, don’t write about women’s issues! That only applies to 50% of people!

Write about men’s issues, because THAT applies to FIFTY PERCENT of people!

DUH!

(And yeah, ladies….stop fighting for yourselves. It’s SO annoying to people who don’t care about you!)

(via velocicrafter)

7 months ago

Confident, Spooky, Spacey, Bitchy.




That about sums it up.

7 months ago

(Source: boop-boop)

7 months ago

Every time I feel like I’m going to puke

When I think of whatever crazy/stupid/ill-advised/overreaching shit I’m planning to try next, I have to decide, is this feeling:

my guts telling me to not do this stupid thing, to save my own ass?

Or

my cowardice, trying to weasel out of a risky move that might end with me on my face…like that flutter you get when you’re going to dive-bomb a hill on your bike?

Often I get it wrong, go home shamefaced, have a little “post traumatic I acted like an asshole” disorder….(slapping my forehead and exclaiming “Idiot!” “I’m a ASSHOLE!” etc, on the ride home, for an amount of time proportionate to the humiliation) But those times I ignored the flutter and it went great….I feel like I’ve gained the power to forever give the flutter the finger. I’m…invincible. Bulletproof.

Hilarious. Hilarious forever. Enlightened.

And of course, I haven’t. I have to start right the fuck over every single goddamned time.

Welcome to being kick-ass.

It’s like fighting a dragon every fucking day.
….by mail, in tiny moves, like super nerdy long distance chess.

7 months ago